His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize