Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He did a backflip because drugs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
