We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
