dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
