i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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