I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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