Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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