i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I queefed so loud it echoed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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