Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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