Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
