Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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