Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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