im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize