I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
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Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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