she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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