I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
