i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Someone signed my nipple.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
