bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
