another moral hangover. fuck.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
