Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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  (303): GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car. http://tfl.nu/jp7a
  Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (4286)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.

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  (440): Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them. http://tfl.nu/0bl8
  Replies (13) Good night (987) Bad night (5004)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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  (857): So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month? http://tfl.nu/9rfa
  Replies (6) Good night (1645) Bad night (3735)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.

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  (802): beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces. http://tfl.nu/r2in
  Replies (32) Good night (723) Bad night (8651)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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  (904): Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up. http://tfl.nu/3e3n
  Replies (12) Good night (4033) Bad night (1046)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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  (603): i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes. http://tfl.nu/r21u
  Replies (2) Good night (1680) Bad night (925)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think thats healthy man...

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  (970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl
  Replies (6) Good night (2243) Bad night (631)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.

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  (208): You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian. http://tfl.nu/g8r4
  Replies (12) Good night (2710) Bad night (654)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.

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  (202): Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem. http://tfl.nu/fe20
  Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (861)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom

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  (616): Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom http://tfl.nu/kxki
  Replies (3) Good night (1406) Bad night (621)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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  (774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (507)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying

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  (401): you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying http://tfl.nu/yu84
  Replies (5) Good night (1417) Bad night (440)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.

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  (330): We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages. http://tfl.nu/bck0
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (286)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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  (802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (274)
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  (805): View more from California

  I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.

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  (805): I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses. http://tfl.nu/vuhx
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (299)

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