it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
