Texts From Last Night

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  (855): View more from

  I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?

  (855): View more from

  No. I am devastated

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  (855): I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts? (855): No. I am devastated http://tfl.nu/0cqz
  Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (989)
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  (408): View more from California

  every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.

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  (408): every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better. http://tfl.nu/nucz
  Replies (10) Good night (3018) Bad night (937)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.

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  (443): You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies. http://tfl.nu/c673
  Replies (21) Good night (5306) Bad night (1293)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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  (678): I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom. http://tfl.nu/95nr
  Replies (18) Good night (2191) Bad night (4107)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

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  (201): I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it. http://tfl.nu/v1ti
  Replies (9) Good night (1070) Bad night (3030)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

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  (417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits. http://tfl.nu/fap8
  Replies (17) Good night (948) Bad night (3010)
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  (949): View more from California

  he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"

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  (949): he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say" http://tfl.nu/b497
  Replies (7) Good night (2582) Bad night (1686)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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  (660): I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah http://tfl.nu/jyz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2244) Bad night (840)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.

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  (250): Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team. http://tfl.nu/f49a
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (1641)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.

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  (708): I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8bkp
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (1493)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.

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  (203): some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed. http://tfl.nu/br4z
  Replies (7) Good night (2623) Bad night (910)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

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  (480): We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet http://tfl.nu/q54w
  Replies (5) Good night (1641) Bad night (576)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just called the consul general of France "dude"

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  (310): Just called the consul general of France "dude" http://tfl.nu/uwot
  Replies (7) Good night (2503) Bad night (923)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?

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  (765): Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots? http://tfl.nu/q4x4
  Replies (8) Good night (1903) Bad night (575)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.

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  (504): I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina. http://tfl.nu/2cbm
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (295)

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