They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening