was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.