Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
