how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
