he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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