So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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