Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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