idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
