apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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