I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
