just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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