I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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