2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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