chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
