I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
