I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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