Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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