I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
