Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
