We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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