I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Someone shit on the floor
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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