But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
