you traded sex for a burrito?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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