Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
