watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize