it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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