Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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