Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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