They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
