I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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