all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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