hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
