got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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