very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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