you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
