Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
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