I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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