none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
