Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
