The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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