but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
