That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
