I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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