I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize