That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
