woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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