Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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