absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
