Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
