I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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