the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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